House: Review

House
Directed by: Nobuhiko Obayashi
Starring a bunch of hot Asian girls


Combination H.R. Pufnstuf, Yellow Submarine and your worst/best acid trip; House will freak you out.

Too ridiculous to be frightening but too damn entertaining to dismiss, House seems to combine nearly every genre of film in a way that feels both amateurish and sharply brilliant. Some movies throw the kitchen sink at you; House goes in and gets the tub.

It has a plot. Let’s see … boy meets girl, boy loses girl, girl gets swallowed by a piano. Well, that’s not quite accurate but accuracy in a review of House would seem entirely inappropriate.

I saw it during a matinee and there were a decent amount of people there having a good time and some laughs but when I walked by tonight, there was a huge line-up for the evening show. I think that would be a great way to see House, with a packed, well … house; because more than anything else, House is funny.

Ironically, it has a very typical straight forward horror movie “plot.” A young woman doesn’t like her new step-mom so she goes off to visit her Aunt she hasn’t seen in years with six of her best friends. The house, the Aunt and a cat team up to destroy/possess/eat all the girls--the end. There, I’ve ruined it for you.

But I haven’t. The plot that you can see coming from a mile a way isn’t the point. It’s the journey that gets you there, man, it’s the journey. In fact, the film has great fun with its standard plot and stock characters; they’re even named for exactly what they are: Gorgeous is gorgeous, Kung Fu kicks ass, Prof is the smart one, Melody is the musician, and so on. The director’s having so much fun the actress’s even sneak coy little looks straight to the camera as if to say, “Wait till you see what’s next.” And that’s just it, you may have a good guess, my fellow film buff, as to what’s next, but you have no idea how they’re going to do it, say it, or present it, and especially, how many body parts will be lost.

The actresses relish their stereotypes ‘r us characters, but my favourite is Kung Fu; not just because she spends most of the movie running around in her underwear. I like her attitude. I believe most of us would like to think that we’d be brave enough to react to a witch/ghost/apparition by kicking it in the face.

Wildly entertaining, endlessly creative, funny and fun, House demands your attention.

May you be turned into a pile of bananas if you don't check it out.

Point of interest: Remarkably, this is the Toronto premiere for a cult classic that’s more than thirty years old. The Bloor saves us again. It makes me want to say the prayer I say every night, “Thank you baby Jesus for daisies, Ziggy comics, soft, fluffy bunnies, and the Bloor.” It’s also just been released on DVD by Criterion, but see it on the big screen with an audience if you get a chance.